Mostly Harmless

It's the only description the greater galaxy deemed necessary to sum up the planet Earth, it'll do well enough for this.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Discovery Channel

So, I've been watching a lot of Discovery channel lately (shut up, I hate you) and I've noticed a pattern in their programming. This pattern seems to be "Lets take the concept behind popular television series, and do the real thing!" Observe:

regular discovery
E.R Trauma: Life in the ER/ Paramedics
C.S.I Dr.G: Medical Examiner
Law and Order FBI Files

Ok, so it's only a few, but still, weird.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Hawthorne Heights and Gorillaz

"Ohio is for Lovers" Hawthorne Heights- This video centers on a decrepit house, spiders and creepy "The Shining"-esque little girl included. The little girl seems to turn into a young woman's... shadow? I think this was once a fully developed "plot" (because I am an optimist) which suffered in editing. So we instead get gratuitous shots of the band in all their depressed longing. I don't like this song, or genre (see The Used), but in particular, the lyrics here ar so smack you in the face obvious that it's almost insulting to the listener. "So cut my wrists and black my eyes/ So I can fall asleep. Or die" yeah, not subtle at all. This is a more personal pet peeve, but the whole "____ is for Lovers" trend totally bugs me. I grew up in the DC Metro area (in Maryland) and the slogan is "Virginia is for Lovers". Now, some 10 years later, the phrase bas been adopted by every punk/emo band out there and it REALLY grates my nerves for some reason. Anyway, crappy boring video, annoyingly expository song, hella annoying title. I say good day to you, Hawthorne Heights.

"Feel Good Inc." Gorillaz- Ok, I love this video and song, so this will most likely be all kinds of biased. Tought, my blog, not yours. In the Gorillaz cartoon world, we come upon a room suffering what looks like the after effects of a post concert party. The singer looks all depressed, the bass player is lying in a pile of women (cause us bass players are sexy like that), and the drummer is at the drums, ready to play. This may seem odd to most people, but I know many percussionists, and it's totally on. The video seems to chronicle the Don Quixote-like obsession with a windmill expressed by the singer. The verses by De La Soul are very good, and a nice counterpoint in mood and style. The song overall is very catchy, when it was in the iPod commercial I loved it, and I love it still. The video is good visually, and fits the mood of the song well. Another great Gorillaz video and song. Woo!

Sunday, May 29, 2005

More Music Videos

"All That I've Got" The Used - One of the latest bands in the pop culture rush to capitalize on middle schooler's angst is The Used. The video is not bad as a purely visual entity, aside from the shots of the band themselves. Seriously y'all? Not attractive. Not even close. Nice story line though, consistent from beginning to end, and satisfying in a "short attention span theater" sort of way. The song, well, I fear the hatred of contemporary "punk" bands, but I'm not down. All the songs in this genre sound incredibly cookie cutter and emotionally manipulative in a not quite literate way. Like a depressed 14 year old with a "wallowing in self pity" magnetic poetry set. So, in short, turn the volume off and enjoy. When the lead singer's ugly mug isn't seeking your empathy.

"Lonely No More" Rob Thomas - Alright, I liked Matchbox 20. Yeah, all my friends who are into "real music" are gonna crucify me, but I did. (Also went to a Spice Girls concert, but that's another story for another day.) I do not like the singular Rob Thomas. This song sounds like something Ricky Martin should be singing. Catchy, easy to sing along with, but bland in an odd way that's similar to the blandness of Easy Mac. It works, but it doesn't work well. You know it's not the real thing. The video itself features Mr.Thomas attempting to look like Justin Timberlake and the same apartment that folded up in the Motorola Razr commercial set on "random". It makes me dizzy to watch, and the song makes me bored to hear. So, bad Rob Thomas! No milkbone for you or your manager.

On a side note, I'm developing a serious girl cruch on Juliya from FUSE. That is a fine ass woman, people.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Music Videos I've Seen Recently

"Hollaback Girl" Gwen Stefani- I become more and more fearful everyday that Ms.Stefani's current efforts in 'music' will become so irritating as to overpower all my No Doubt love. Don't do that to me, Gwen. Anyway, "Hollaback Girl" features a drum cadence that's all kinds of kick ass, and the rest of it, I can totally leave. It seems like the reason No Doubt went their seperate ways was so Gwen Stefani could make pre-packaged, mediocre pop music with videos featuring slightly creepy little japenese girls and herself in a confusing and often disturbing array of costumes. The majorette "outfit"? Yeah, not digging it. Anyway, this song makes no sense to me (especially the "this shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" breakdown, wtf?) but is evidently widely popular. Oh well. That's why there's a mute button.

"Beverly Hills" Weezer- I have to say, there's almost nothing wrong with any video that pairs the supreme geek of all rock and roll (Rivers Cuomo) with Playboy Playmates. Aside from a somewhat fuzzy plotline, I think this is a cute video that fits the song really well, actually. Also, I'm guessing here, but I'm pretty sure there's cameos from Molly Shannon (of SNL fame) and Jessica Coen (Foxy Jess of, if you don't know it, you should. She's also been on VH1 a few times.) Anyway, Weezer rarely disappoints and that's the case again here. That'll do, boys. That'll do.

"Ass Like That" Eminem - Ok, aside from this song bringing up memories of a certain first date for me (not as bad as it sounds, I promise) it's funny, and I like Eminem when he's funny. Aside from plenty of female posterior, the majority of the video is a giant Triumph the Insult Dog/ Crank Yankers shout out. As in, Triumph the insult dog gets as much or more screen time than Em, and the Crank Yankers puppet shop was obviously heavily involved in this. Anyway, it's good. Thumbs up.

(note to self: it's not as funny to review videos you like)

Next Installment: Fuck if I know, it'll happen when it happens.

Saturday, April 30, 2005


So yeah, I know this movie has been out for a while, but whatever, I like it so you get to hear about it.

Basic plot: Boy gets dumped by chronically cheating girlfriend, sends kiss off note to his presumably male german pen pal. Finds out that german pen pal is actually a hot chick, goes on last minute trip to Germany with wacky friend, in the process meeting up with two more of their friends. Gets girl, everyone's happy, end of movie.

So, not exactly Shakespeare. The movie definately has some high points, one of my favorite is the best Matt Damon cameo EVER as the lead singer of a punk band who wrote an ode to the ex girlfriend of Scotty (main character) called "Scotty Doesn't Know" which is incredibly easy to get stuck in your head. Also, the part of Jenny as played by Michelle Trachtenburg shatters my previous mental association of her, i.e "That girl who was in Harriet the Spy and Pete and Pete, right?". The robot battle in Paris is also great, as is the "International House of Sausage", if you have a strong stomach and a brave eye. Yes, the plot devices are contrived, yes, the Europeon stereotypes abound, and frankly, to my eye, Mieke (girl Scotty is persuing in Germany) is not all that smoking hot as the guys make her out to be. But what do I know, I'm a girl. There are some great cameos, Matt Damon, Lucy Lawless (Xena), Fred Armesan (SNL guy, you'll know him when you see him), Vinne Jones, and Jeffery Tambor, who most of you probably don't know but oh well. This movie is great for the throw-away lines, a very realistic approach to high school friend ship (especially male/female friendships. "No, I mean like GIRL girls." yeah, I've heard that one before...), and managing to be funny without seeming like it's trying too hard or being the painful kind of "I can't watch this or I'LL die of embarassment" kind of uncomfortable. And hey, my mom loves it too, so you know it's got appeal beyond your average teen gross out movie.

On a scale of 1-5 bathroom breaks (how many times you'd voluntarily get up and leave the room during the film) I give this a 2.5, there's some lag spots, but overall, pretty funny and easy to watch.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Birth Control Pills

Got your attention? Well, I hope I can keep it. Four states and some major perscription retailers are moving towards measures that would allow pharmacists to refuse to fill perscriptions for birth control pills if the pharamcists "morally object" to filling the perscription. Now, frankly, I don't care where you stand on the issue of reproductive rights, this is not a reproductive rights issue, this is an "it's none of their goddamn business" issue. To me, this is like a cashier at the Publix refusing to sell me white bread because they're on the Atkins diet. I respect that they're on a diet and aren't eating the completely refined, totally bad for you white bread that I favor, but it's their job to sell it to me, not deliver a sermon on the evils of carbohydrates. Same deal with the pharmacists, it's their JOB to fill PERSCRIPTIONS not make completely baseless and insulting assumptions about one's character or intentions and refuse to fill the perscriptions for those baseless and insulting reasons. I have been on birth control pills since I was 14. Why? Because every month I get cramps so bad it's like I'm in false labor and my mom was tired of me missing school due to uncontrollable, incredibly painful and debilitating muscle contractions. I know other women who have gone on birth control for similar reasons, without the promise of free and easy sex figuring into the equation anywhere. And then there's the lovely instances of pharmacists refusing to fill perscriptions for Plan B, which IS NOT an abortion pill, but a CONTRACEPTIVE. I won't go too deep into the science here, but it doesn't abort an implanted zygote, it prevents the egg from implanting and beginning the wonderful process of pregnancy. If the egg is not implanted, you are not pregnant, period. If there is no pregnancy, there is no human to be had, and it is therefore not ending a human life. There, I said it. Prove me wrong people.

But this is an issue that should not even get into the issue of when life begins or when it doesn't, because it's as simple as this: if you know that you don't want to fill certain perscriptions, don't become a pharmacist. If you don't want to do your job, find another job that fits with your moral sensibilities. Because as long as we continue down this path, I will be lectured on my refined sugar intake everytime I go to the grocery store, and I'm waiting for doctors to refuse to perform vasectomies because of the potential loss of life. I'd prefer to keep my private life private, thank you.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Easter Greetings

As Holy Week here winds down towards Easter, so fond thoughts of large, candy distributing rabbits and Cadbury eggs (love!) fill our minds. As a lasped Catholic, I of course have many fond memories of Easter and it's yearly festivities, including the performance of the "Stations of the Cross" known to all catholic school children. (Think of it as a very VERY low budget and less emotionally manipulative or anti-semitic version of "The Passion") This year, however, I will be spending my first easter away from my family and in the prescence of alternate companies. I suspect this means I don't get an easter basket, which does make me unhappy, god knows I love a good, solid affirmation that I WILL be eating my way to adult-onset diabetes while I'm at college. That's a joke, sort of. Anyway, as I'm forgoing both the sugar rush and the tree climbing associated with Easter at home this year (ruthlessly competitive egg hunt, it's so much more fun to be a hider than a seeker) I suspect that Maryland will be experiencing actual nice weather for easter instead of the usual gray, rainy disgustingness we all associate so much with Easter. Also means I might not have someone attempting to guilt me into attending church for my usual one appearance a year or so. Personal boycott you know, I'll start going once they start telling me I'm a sinner for holding my own opinions and all. Oh, and stop touching children, that'd be nice too. Anyway, we'll see how things go, I hope everyone gets what they want in their easter basket or passover stocking or whatever you'll be getting this weekend.